So, I’ve had a hard time trying to figure out what this blog should be about. Authors write about other books, the writing process, and advice in those areas. But I find my struggle has been, I don’t want to talk about any of that. Then, I realized what the spectacular thing that happens to me almost daily– takes place on my job. Don’t worry I won’t turn this into a medical blog. Yes, for those who do not know, I’m a Registered Nurse. I do treatments that take thirty minutes to about ten or twelve people a day. So, during these treatments I have the most amazing conversations. That is where the beautiful slice of life is happening and from one day to the next they are sharing with me something wonderful or I get to impart what I have learned (sometimes from other’s). You could call me the trading post of ideas, advice, and encouragement, because I take in from one patient and give it out to another. I just didn’t have to buy it, and I don’t sell it. Some of the advice is also learned from hard knocks of life or learned from watching others stumble, fall, and get back up. I don’t know how often I will write these but let’s start.
Friend #1
Today I saw a “friend” I’ve known close to 14 years. We started out with a friendly banter of how I enjoy my job a little too much. Remind you, I poke needles all day. Before I inject her she says, “Now wait a minute, wait a min. Let me brace myself.” She stutters from speaking so fast and repeats it over and over until she knows I’m fully waiting on her to get “into position.” It tickled me mostly. But as time went on she dropped it (many years later) and today we discussed the evolution of our relationship. How she doesn’t say this anymore, and she responds in a most childlike manner “I still say it inside.” I burst out laughing. This wonderful lady who took care of so many in her life as a school teacher could become a child so easily on my table and I was reminded of her sweet heart, no matter how tough her exterior banter could be.
What made today so different was what followed this. She poured out her heart to me: taking care of her elderly mother for eight years has finally taken a toll on her. Emotionally she had done all she could and has seen deterioration in her own health from it but she still felt guilty even complaining about the toil. I gave her permission, freedom to be herself, that I could take it, she wasn’t “burdening” me. I found out how “complaining” her mother was nonstop all day and the guilt she manipulated her daughter to be by her side every minute of the day. She knew her mother had controlled her most of her life and it had become worse taking care of her in her home. I told her it is so important to respect our elders, take care of her mother, but it is not neglect to get help to be able to go to the store without a 94 year old woman. I reminded her even mothers of young children need help. No one can do it all by themselves. Everyone needs help. It doesn’t have to be her husband but someone, a daughter, a granddaughter, or hired help.
The “friend” was in tears. We prayed together. I prayed for boldness and courage to create healthy boundaries with her mom. To stop allowing herself to be manipulated. To create house rules and to give all her cares to the Lord who can strengthen her to walk in this. She wasn’t going to church, but watching church TV. I told her I understand– many people don’t like the man-made religious institutions but still pray and read and are trying to walk a spiritual walk. But I told her what she is missing is someone coming along side her, the fellowship of support. Even if not going to church, try to find a bible study where she could get with women to join with her in this struggle of life.
Michelle Gilliam 